Bottled Emotions
by Havenmay
Summary: Duke gets hit with a trouble, exactly at the wrong time.. a few days before his birthday which he has hated most of his life. Nathan, Audrey and a little help from Gloria try and help Duke and figure out the emotional trouble.


Duke had been quieter than usual, which Nathan would usually find worrying however he knew that next week was Duke's birthday. For some reason Duke had always hated his birthday since.. well pretty much ever since Nathan knew him.

Nathan had pressured him for years to find out why, but Duke had always either gone completely still like an animal ready to run, a shaking mess for the next few days or he would completely ignore the question and make some excuse that he needed to leave. Nathan had given up asking mainly because he was scared that Duke would do something stupid like leave Haven and never look back, and because he had gathered it was something to do with Duke's parents and Nathan knew that was a fragile topic. So he left it alone.

Up until this year when Audrey turned to him and asked curiously ' whats up with Duke, he's been really.. I don't know quiet and I guess shy? And we both know thats especially odd for him, and i see the way you have been looking at him, theres something up and you are going to tell me right now."

Nathan let out a slow breath and answered with a deeply saddened voice 'I don't know, well i know.. its his birthday in a few days' but before he could finished Audrey jumped in with a squeal

'IT is HIS BIRTHDAY?! oh my god i haven't even gotten him a present, we haven't planned anything special, how could you not tell me?'

"because like i was saying, ever since I've known Duke he gets like this before his birthday and he seems to isolate himself from everyone and I've asked him a thousand times but he's never told why. But i think its something to do with his parents' Audrey's puzzled face caused him to continue. 'lets just say they weren't the nicest parents or people for that matter'

Audrey looked determined and said 'well lets change that, we should buy him a really nice birthday present and have a day together just the three of us.'

"Audrey, giving him a present is the worst idea possible.. look when i was 7 years old, thats when me and Duke were really close and i knew his birthday was coming up so i made him a pirate ship out of lolly pop sticks, it took me ages but i knew he wouldn't be getting much or anything from anyone else. I left it outside his house because no one was home, later that day he came past my house with a box and threw it at my front door.'

'what was it?' Audrey questioned

'the ship i had made for him and it was smashed into little pieces, and since then i have never gotten him a present.' Nathan rubbed his hand over his face and sighed 'i don't even know why he would do that but yeah thats why i wouldn't get him a present if i were you, just leave it and after his birthday he seems to be fine.'

"lets go ask him, thats not fair, don't give me that look lets just ask him alright and maybe he can tell us why he hates his birthday and why he was an idiot'.

When they got to the Gull, only Duke's car was in the parking lot and the only light was coming from inside the bar. They both got out the car and headed inside, and Duke was sitting hunched over the bar and looked up suddenly and said in an exhausted voice 'what are you guys doing here, its late?'

'we need to talk, now' Audrey said with her hands on her hips, which could scare any man. Duke got up slowly, he looked exhausted like he hadn't slept in a while.

'what about?' he asked, his eyes narrowing, his hands were shaking slightly and knuckles going white from where he was holding on to the bar too tightly.

'why you have been avoiding us, and pretty much everyone for that matter and i know its your birthday in a few days so what is it with your birthday that makes you a nervous wreck, and Nathan told me about how he gave you a gift when you were younger and literally chucked it back in his face?' Audrey asked with a concerned but angry voice.

Duke was physically shaking enough that Nathan could see it, and gone sheet white and with a stone cold voice he said 'you told her it's my birthday?' his eyes daggers toward Nathan.

'yes i did, she was worried' Nathan said quietly.

'Duke you didn't answer my question' Audrey cut in before Duke or Nathan could say anything else.

"its nothing i just don't want people making a big deal about it, can we just forget about it please?' His voice broke on the last word and when Nathan looked up at his eyes they had moisture in them.

'Duke we are worried, its okay to not like your birthday but this is another level, your shaking and pale and look like you haven't eaten in days. Seriously just tell us.' Audrey asked in a soft voice.

They stood there in silence for a while, and finally Duke's shoulders slumped in on himself and he lent back heavily against the wall like it was the only thing keeping him up. Nathan caught Audrey's eye and they both shared a scared glance towards Duke.

'i can't talk about it… please can you just drop it' Duke said barely audible. Nathan had never seen Duke this.. this vulnerable and scared. He could tell what was about to happen, Dukes eyes were heavy and his legs looked unsteady so he quickly stepped closer to Duke and wrapped his arms underneath Duke's as his legs buckled underneath him, and Duke leaned his forehead in the crook of Nathan's neck. His shoulders shook, and Nathan could tell his breath was laboured even though he couldn't feel the breath on his shoulder because of his stupid trouble. He would give anything to be able to feel Duke and not just Audrey.

'Duke you need to lie down, come on lets go upstairs' Nathan spoke softly with more concern and emotion than he usually gave Duke or even Audrey for that matter. Nathan escorted Duke carefully upstairs with his arm around his hip so he could carry most of his weight as Audrey hurried on ahead to unlock the door.

When they got inside Audrey had taken her shoes off and was pulling back the duvet cover, and Nathan helped Duke onto the bed and took his shoes off and they all got into bed with Duke in the middle. Duke's eyes were closed and he was shivering, Audrey lightly pressed her hand against his forehead and whispered to Nathan 'He's really hot, maybe he's coming down with a fever.'

Nathan glanced to Dukes face which was inches away from him, his face was slightly scrunched up like he was having a bad dream. He whimpered slightly and mumbled something, as he held on tighter to Nathan like he was scared he was going somewhere and was the only thing grounding him.

"i'm going to call Gloria she might be able to help.. but Nathan i have a bad feeling this is a trouble' Audrey whispered as she quietly climbed out of bed careful not to wake Duke.

As Audrey climbed back into bed Nathan said "In a way i hope it is a trouble, because otherwise this is just Duke not taking care of himself and keeping everything bottled up' Nathan continued 'and i don't have it in me to nag him about taking care of himself'.

"its going to be alright Nathan, Gloria knows Duke like the back of her hand and can help us find out whats wrong, she said she would be here first thing in the morning she just needs to find Aaron somewhere to stay' Audrey soothed as she kissed him lightly on the lips. Both Nathan and Audrey settled down, as it had been a long day they both fell asleep almost instantly.

 _It was_ _dark in Duke's room, and suddenly he heard the crash that he had been dreading all night, he scurried back as far as he could in his bedroom until his back hit the wall and hugged his knees tight. He stared at the door until it burst open with the silhouette of his dad wobbling and towering over him. "why are you not in your bed!?' he shouted making his face red and even scarier._

 _Duke tried to keep his voice steady but it still came out slightly shaky 'Sorry Dad.. i ..i didn't mean to i was tidying the house like you asked and i couldn't get to sleep'._

 _"_ _next time i find you still awake when i get home, i will beat you until you pass out.. I'm sick of you disrespecting me and being a waste of space and money, i wish i could just throw you out now' He viciously spat out as he strode towards Duke hands outstretched to grab him by the collar, Duke coward and covered his face and Simon laughed as he pushed him against the wall hard 'grow up, stop being so pathetic, you wont last five minutes in the real world son.' He said matter of fact as he stumbled out the room. Duke's head hurt from hitting it on the wall, he reached up and felt a wet patch and he looked at his hand which was red from the blood that must be coming from the gash in his head. Know one was going to want to help him he thought to himself, know one cared so he just sobbed quietly with his head in between his knees._

Nathan woke up slowly, he had a weird feeling like something was happening and moving beside him, even though he couldn't feel it. He sat up and suddenly realised there was a dent in the bed from where Duke had been _oh shit. S_ omething was definitely wrong he looked frantically around as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, at last he saw Duke sitting on the floor against the wall, shaking and hugging his legs. He stumbled quickly out of bed as he said shook Audrey awake. "what, i'm trying to sleep its like three in the morning' she mumbled.

'Somethings wrong with Duke' Nathan whispered this alerted Audrey as she bolted upright also getting out of bed.

"wait there, let me handle it' Nathan warned as he approached Duke who was still shaking, and placed his hand on his shoulder which caused Duke to go completely still. "dad?" Duke whispered without moving, puzzled Nathan looked to Audrey who looks just as confused.

"Duke its Nathan' at this Duke looked up, his eyes were red and he was pale and he looked even more confused as Nathan and Audrey and suddenly something clicked and he just sighed and said in a rough voice 'sorry for waking you up' he pushed himself up to stand but very unsteadily and Nathan caught his arm and said seriously 'Duke you need to tell us whats been going on your going to make yourself sicker than you already are. please Duke and why would you think I'm your Dad, he's dead?'

Duke sat down heavily on the edge of the bed as Audrey wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on his shoulder.

"Its nothing.. please I can't talk about it' Duke said his voice rough, his head drooped and his breathing became more even as he slowly lost consciousness with what seemed to be fatigue and Audrey had to hold him upright, Nathan rushed to her aid and lent against the head board so that Duke could lean on him. As before Duke was shaking and mumbling in his sleep but much worse and he rolled in his sleep and hid his face in Nathan's side and his breath began to become hitched and shaky. All Nathan could was hold him, and whisper to Audrey 'please call Gloria and ask her to come now, he's getting worse and I've never seen Duke like this' and Audrey immediately called Gloria.

It took Gloria about five minutes to get to the apartment, and Nathan knew that was because she went way over the speed limit but he didn't care he just needed to know Duke was going to be alright and if she knew anything about this trouble. Once she had examined him she sighed and said softly 'he's going through a severe traumatic breakdown but its somehow been amped up and made worse, and as i know he hasn't been in anything too traumatic recently it maybe from bad memories. Has he had any flash backs or gone completely quiet. Or just anything unusual?" Nathan answered quickly things fitting into place 'yes' and he told her what had happened when Nathan had found Duke on the floor and how he had been acting the last couple of days.

'Mmmm. Well you said that he refused to tell you why he was upset or what had happened and he became more feverish, maybe this trouble is like… like a punishment for keeping emotions or bad experiences inside and he needs to tell someone.' Gloria suggested, Audrey nodded obviously in agreement with the theory 'that makes sense, but Gloria you didn't see him, I don't think he will ever speak about it willingly even small things he covers with his cocky grin and snarky responses at the best of times' Audrey said.

'but this the most real, genuine emotion I've seen Duke share in a long time, its hard for him because I don't think anyone really showed him any emotion other than anger when he was younger and throughout most of his life' Nathan released and both Gloria and Audrey looked sad at this statement but Gloria looked like she understood.

"Gloria do you know anything about Duke's childhood or living arrangements?" Nathan questioned slowly, he felt terrible invading Duke's privacy that he knew he hated speaking about but he wasn't going to let this trouble continue either. Gloria sighed heavily and leaned back further on her chair by the bed.

"I certainly don't know everything but lets just say.. there was a few times i'd find him walking outside in the dark late at night along with a bruise on his face here and there, or find one of his hiding spots where he kept a sleeping bag and torch. Sometimes i took him home if he agreed and would give him something to eat and he'd wolf it down like he hadn't eaten in days and you could tell. I wish i could have done something but there was never any real evidence and if i asked he'd deny everything or clam up and i wouldn't see him for a while and i knew he'd be going hungry or having to steal something.. so i avoided asking if i could so he would trust me." Gloria confessed with a deeply tired and sorrowful voice. Audrey rubbed her upper arm while soothing 'you did the best you could Gloria, i just feel so bad for Duke and it makes the way Duke reacts or his way of living a lot more sense."

"i think we need to wake Duke up, give him something to drink and eat and sit him down together and just tell him what we thinks going on and hopefully he will hopefully tell us whats up." Gloria suggested, "sounds like a plan' Audrey agreed.

Nathan nudged Duke softly and kissed him on his forehead, while Audrey and Gloria went to the kitchen, as to not wake him suddenly, "Duke", slowly Duke's eyes fluttered open and looked around and then groaned and nuzzled his face further into the pillow beside Nathan.

"come on Duke you need to eat something" Nathan urged as he helped Duke sit up "alright" Duke agreed and they both headed over to the table where Audrey and Gloria were waiting.

Duke perched on the edge of his seat at the head of table as Nathan sat beside him.

Duke looked at the pasta Gloria had made for him and began to pick at it, but never raised his eye line so Audrey began to explain to him what they think is going on.

"Duke we think you've been somehow affected by a trouble thats causes you to have a severe traumatic breakdown but its been amped up and can happen at anytime or stop and you can be fine like now." Audrey said and Duke looked up questioningly so Audrey continued.

"We think the breakdown happens when you try.. erm.. when you bottle things that bother you so when we asked what was up earlier downstairs it happened and last night. So to stop it for now while we try and figure out who's trouble it is you need to tell us what you've been seeing and why you've been acting quiet and well not you." As soon a Audrey had mentioned bottling emotions up Duke had stopped eating and was just moving the pasta around the bowl as he stared at the table.

"Duke please, i know its hard, i hate talking about my emotions and stuff but we need to solve this trouble you can't continue like this forever." Nathan said softly as he placed his hand over Dukes which had began to tremble faintly again. In true Duke fashion his guard went up he stopped trembling and put his cocky smile on and said "Guys i think your overreacting, its not a trouble i just had a down day yesterday. Which everyone has".

"Duke I had to carry you pretty much upstairs, and then later you were sitting on the floor in the middle of the night and thought i was your Dad, so this isn't the run of the mill bad day its serious and its a trouble. So spill it now" Nathan argued and Audrey could tell he was losing his patience which would only rile Duke up more. Duke stood up and shoved his chair back as he did and sharply retorted back "I'm fine, its nothing to do with any of you stop trying to interfere, and if you hadn't of told Audrey it was my Birthday soon, none of this would have happened to just stay out of it! Your making it worse than it is."

"seriously Duke stop pretending like nothing ever hurts you, obviously someone or something has because you get all defensive when something is up so just tell me."

"do you know what hurt me, when Audrey asked me to kill Harry Nix without talking to me about it and just expected me to do it like I'm a monster. Or when you were so sure I was the one that had kidnapped Audrey, enough that you got that damn guard maze tattooed on your arm! There is that enough emotion for you today." Duke shouted, with his fists clenched, Nathan and Audrey had no idea what to say "i thought as much, I'm leaving" Duke said as he started to storm out but Nathan caught his wrist "Duke' he whispered with guilt showing through the tone.

"don't, get off of me" he said as he yanked his hand out of Nathan's grasp and quickly went out the door before anyone could stop him.

Nathan sat down heavily, Audrey spoke up "what are you doing we need to get him"

"no, give him some space, if we keep questioning he's just going to get angrier thats how Duke hides what he's actually feeling. Anyway he said stuff we didn't really know before and he didn't look like he was going to have another breakdown." Nathan said with exhaustion coming through.

"Nathan's right, he looked better after he got that off his chest even though he's definitely not telling us everything." Gloria said.

It had been a week since Duke had stormed out, and neither Audrey or Nathan had spoken to him, they had tried but he was avoiding them and left in the cape rouge. Nathan had been a wreck, scared Duke was leaving like last time and never coming back. But Audrey knew Duke was different and would never leave without a goodbye, he just needed time, even so she just wish he would come home soon.

The night before Duke's birthday, Nathan and Audrey were snuggled up on the couch with the fire lit as the power had gone out due to the storm. Nathan was comforting her and reassuring if Duke was on the rouge he would be fine he would handle it safely. Though as he was telling Audrey this he began to worry that Duke might not be alright, it had been a week since they had fought and what if he still had that trouble even though Audrey had found the person responsible , as Duke was not the only one affected, and helped the person stop the trouble.

Later that night when the fire had died out, and they were both asleep, the thunder outside became louder and the lightning outside brighter. This caused Audrey to stir and wake up, she looked around and sighed and closed her eyes to hopefully fall back asleep. But no such luck, so he turned the lamp on and began to read but the sound of thunder was distracting and as she looked up to the front door the lightning that followed showed a shadow of a figure standing outside.

"Nathan.. wake up someones outside" Audrey said quickly hitting Nathan awake as she grabbed her gun and began to head towards the door. With Nathan closely on her heels with his now gun out she opened the door quickly and what she found wasn't what she was expecting.

It was Duke. Soaking wet, with his hair plastered to his pale, gaunt face with black circles under his eyes and a yellow rain coat on which didn't look like it was doing much. When he realised the door was open he looked at her and his sad eyes seemed to light up and before she could say anything he tackled her into the tightest hug and hid his face in her hair. "I'm so sorry Audrey." He mumbled so quietly she had to strain to hear it.

"Its okay Duke, I'm just glad your home I don't think i could have waited or stopped Nathan from going out and finding you." She said as he squeezed even more. When he let go she looked more closely at him and it broke her heart at how sad and lost he looked. His lips were taking on a tinge of blue from standing out in the freezing cold rain so she ushered him quickly.

"how long were you standing out there?" she questioned.

"a couple of hours.. i don't know a while" Duke said shyly as he looked at her through his long lashes.

"why didn't you come in, your going to catch a cold" She said sternly as she began to take his coat of and shirt so she could wrap a warm blanket round him.

" i wasn't sure if i was welcome or not." Duke said subdued as he looked at the ground.

"oh Duke, why would you think you weren't, we both love you and were worried don't you ever think you aren't welcome. Okay?" Audrey soothed as she cupped his face in her hands. Duke leaned into the touch and rested his forehead on hers and whispered "okay". She stood on her tiptoes and gave him the softest kiss on the side of his lips and said "come on lets get you warm, i think Nathan's gone to get a blanket" she said as she lead him towards the couch.

Nathan came back into the living room area and found Audrey leading Duke to the couch but before he sat down he looked over at Nathan and guilt laced in his features but it all disagreed when he gave Nathan the smallest smile. It may have been a small smile but it was genuine and it gave Nathan a warm fuzzy feeling in his stomach. He embraced Duke into a strong hug and then a kiss that took both their breath away and said roughly "don't ever leave for that along again. I missed you and I'm sorry for pushing you. I love you Duke and that will never change."

Duke lifted is head off of Nathan's shoulder and looked into his eyes and his vision blurred and it wasn't because he was exhausted or dehydrated but because he was crying. He hadn't cried since Jennifer had died and now he was sobbing.

Nathan did all he could do and that was hug him and not let go, Dukes sobs wracked through his body and it felt like it would never stop. Nathan supported him to the couch where Audrey wrapped her arms around his torso and he leant back into Nathan. Nathan listened to Duke's heavy breathing as we was trying to control himself and it made him ache inside to see Duke this broken. But he guessed Duke had always been like this but he had hidden it, bottled it all up and at last the bottle had broken. Once Duke had calmed himself down he said with a croaky voice "I love you too Nathan, and you Audrey even though I may not show it all the time or say it. It's just hard for me to believe you aren't just going leave me, or use me like everyone else I ever trusted. But I want to learn to trust you, its just hard sometimes."

" Its okay Duke, we both love and support you and we have all the time in the world. And i'm going to do everything i can to earn your trust we both will, and to make you believe that we honestly care about you." Nathan said, Audrey admired them both then as she knew they both didn't like sharing emotions but she was proud.

They all laid there in silence, until Duke spoke up " do you still want to know why I hate my Birthday?"

Nathan sighed and said "Duke you don't need to"

" I want to.. I think i need to. Okay. On my eighth birthday, my mum had gotten drunk while i was at school and I think dad had gotten mad at her and they had, had a fight because as soon as i got home she sent yelled at me and told me to go to bed. So I did, but then i heard the door bell so I cam downstairs to get it but Mum had already got it. She had a box wrapped in pirate wrapping paper with"

"a black skull and cross bones sticker" Nathan whispered.

"yeah.. and she called for me and said that a kid called Nathan had brought me this and it was a birthday present. I was so excited i had never gotten a birthday present, usually mum and dad forgot or didn't care.." Duke paused and seemed to get lost in thought but continued.

"anyway, and before i could she opened it and ripped all the wrapping paper off and she opened the card board box. You had made me a a pirate ship and it was amazing and i couldn't believe it. I couldn't wait to play with it but.. but" Duke's voice broke and both Audrey and Nathan could tell he was trying to hold back the tears. Audrey put her hand on his back and said "Duke you don't need to explain."

But Duke shook his head. "no i can do this. So before I could she threw it on the floor and it smashed everywhere, i was so angry I yelled at her and said what the hell are you doing why would you do that, and she said 'because its stupid, and she teaching me a lesson and that you had probably only given it to me because you wanted something and that know one cared about me. That i was a waste of space and that.. and that she wished she had never given birth to me and she was ashamed of me. That no one would ever love me, they would only pretend or use it against me to get what they wanted." Nathan brought his thumb up to Duke's face and wiped away the tear that was about to run down his face.

"I never wanted to break your present, it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done. And i never said thank you for it, it meant a lot." Duke said quietly and kissed Nathan on the cheek.

"Duke why would you believe anything she said, she sounds like a spiteful mean women?" Audrey asked because Duke was one of the most lovely, brave and selfless person she knew.

"because.. she didn't treat Wade like that it was just me and know ones ever proved her wrong really. Evi, used me and Mara used me and they both didn't really care. Finally when i found Jennifer i believed this was it that my mum was wrong but then she left, i know she died but it still hurt. And i was a kid." Duke replied his voice broke slightly when he said Jennifer's name, he still missed her so much. He would never fully get over dying, but she deserved that, deserved to be loved and not forgotten.

"Like Nathan said, we will both spend every minute of every day trying to gain your trust and belief that we love you and wont ever abandon you. You are stuck with us, and theres nothing you can do about it." Audrey said with humour coming in towards the end.

"She's right, your too far in, you are officially stuck with us forever." Nathan murmured in Duke's hair. Duke chuckled, and it was warm, pure and all Duke and Nathan couldn't help but smile.

"Duke I have something for you, for your birthday, its from both of us." Nathan said slowly, scared that Duke would refuse the offer. However Dukes eyes lit up like a child and he eagerly said "really, what is it?"

"wait with Audrey I will go and get it."

After a few minutes Nathan came back in and he had a cardboard box in his hand "sorry we couldn't wrap it we were stuck here because of the storm and this is all we could find." Nathan said apologetically.

Duke carefully pulled the sticky tape of and opened the box and peered inside and there was the lolly pop stick pirate ship, he lifted it out and admired it and turned to Nathan and Audrey and hugged and kissed them both. "thank you, I love it, where did you get all the lolly pop sticks though?"

".. I .. I had kept the broken parts of the ship because i didn't want to get rid of it so me and Audrey just fixed it." Nathan said blushing. All Duke could do was smile and it was dazzling when he smiled properly and it wasn't just his cocky smile trying to deflect something.

"I love you both."

Later that night when they were all tucked up in bed with Duke in the middle, with Nathan hugging his back and Duke leaning his head on Audrey's collar bone, they all wished each other good night. Usually Duke took a while to get to sleep but he was so tired from lack of sleep and the emotion that his eyes were already heavy and he was finding it difficult to keep them open.

Audrey kissed his head " Good night Duke, sweet dreams." Nathan kissed his shoulder and hugged a little tighter. Finally Duke could sleep knowing that someone cared and he believed that they did. Slowly his eyes shut and he drifted off the sleep.

The end.

/ this is my first fan fiction if you could leave any tips to get better it would be greatly appreciated, and if anyone has any requests for another story. thanks for reading /


End file.
